Today

Today....
is a beautiful controversy
of total awareness
like you!
This morning was born...
in a cradle of magical rays
just like your face...
shiny though, the nobody
is still out there
Your day...is a contrast of faith
while constant disbelieve...
in all around...in me
Your day..
is a fading spring
reaching out
early summer brazes of a 'Duhoky' day
with innocent promises
of an old wish
then all the sudden...
storms...thunders...
as if thousands of trumpets
declare the day
of a born miracle
Today..
is just like you
a beautiful controversy
started with a colorful spring
passed by a gloomy summer
and ending up
with blessings of rain...
what a beautiful controversy?
just like you...
on your day

Heja
May.2.2012

I don't care anymore

You think I forgot you

and have no more to write

well, deaf have tales of you and legends…

and eyes and gazes..

where breath stills tight

as no more cameras dare to shoot you

yet unsighted like me feel your presence

no stars hangout to wait for you

while moons get lost on shortest shores

no suns can find you to give up their frowns…

to borrow your  smile to wear it once more

I don't care anymore…

I have you with me closer than ever

what else do you think makes me happy?

than pile up all the 'missing' I've ever

and hand them over to you at once

in every trembling but thoughtful glance

I pass by this lonely Christmas tree

flower garlands and ribbons cut off 

as if it's you without your show off!

I don't care anymore

I have you forever

In Christmas...

In New Year, on trees and in songs

I see you in my books, in each drop of rain

I have you in all what's beauty and real

I have you wherever…I don't care anymore

I amsterdam you: by Heja Sindi

Spin One

searching for myself
outside this tiny window
in that Dutch scene
where plates of cars
tell about their journeys
and rosy hopes showing me
the way 
to your once upon a time

Spin Two
lordly in looks
warm in welcoming 
thats what you are
I think my eyes caught you
on that bicycle
before you were pulled
out of this living city
to be turned into plastic
again where you don't belong

Spin Three

the captain spins 

and spins 

the wheel
right
then left
for a one inch move
like I do
to get closer 
a whole age
to the no where 

Spin Four
water in your canals
pumped 
by true wishes
of a beautiful minded man
who left behind
his soul
somewhere 
in these canals
here between 
the twin sisters' houses
or the empires' 

Spin One again
I amsterdam you
though my windmill
has already spanned  
way ahead
in another life

Facebook: By Heja Sindi

 friendship request
another try... a cyber disguise
crossing a broken bridge 
carefully
where manhood falls down
and both of us know 
 firewalls of a minded culture
 burns whatever...decent innocence 

friendship added!

secretly

please forgive me

I am not holding anyone
I am not close to anywhere
just a gipsy domain 
telling me lies  
where hands never touch
and eyes don't capture
yet minds are dragged into 
a sensible web

'Like'ing starts...cautious wait
time passes by
then comes the reply..
trrra rra!
Its a ':)' that opens
doors of captured hopes
 makes my day, keeps me high
and spiraled imaginations
smiling... 
behind a lousy screen

am talking to me
(whispering) should I... 
send at this late night 
an 'off line message' ? 
:/
DON'T!
yes DO it
no DON'T..
be a clown :S
pride is one click away 
from this keyboard 
 and crowded senses 
at a 2am monologue  

'Tag' and wait then wait again 
then 'Poke'
a forth move
 keeping me in touch
whenever a 'Comment'
chases another
though silly
and tasteless words
and vulgar souls  
 can't wait
to see my reply

'Deactivate'd
 'Facebook' or Closebook!
'Wall' is plain
heart in pain
no trace, no face
not even a.. 
'Check in place' 
silence on page
no move
no breath

Summer is over
back again
posting
'Private Message'ing 
no matter what 
or ':)' ing one another 

 while 'Share'ing a passion  

and joyfull :Ds 
hosting our chats with 

buried feelings 

forever

 in Facebook pages 

  

Do you mind?

If I know you well

without even living with you

and not even quarreling with you

or being able to make you smile

if I tell you that your gift

is a mask, that keeps many

from being able to touch..

your heart and

move

your sole

do you mind

if I become so plain

and tell you that..

you have no time for me,

I know..

that ..

you are not even busy

with your own dreams..

yes I know

and do you?

if I speak on behalf of..

your eyes

and tell others

to keep their misleading..

dreams..

away from  you

and If I say to the whole world

that your absence

is what provokes, me

thinking more of you

more than if I see you

well, I guess you don’t

if I shout at him and her

to leave you

to set you free

from all the lies that

they have lived, yet

want you to share

with them

No, I guess you won't mind anyway

Dohuk Tonight

an old man passes
in a fancy drive
by this hidden city
where hearts get ceased by jealous rips
and magical carpets full of tiny lights..
hiding lonely stories and innocent gossip
black gardens hanged by pearls
and stars..
hallowed by shying hopes
that's you tonight
my home town

same old plot, new passion
two masculine mountains...
staring at each other; who frees the captured soul
resting in between!
who lives there...
who smiles here..
who wonders if some one is thinking of you..
or doubts that someone cherishes another...
in my home town

Like every week at this time..
winds from the crowded capital
blow, push me, like a sail
then steadly cradled
by welcomig breezes
in early galleys of my town
gently pulling the drive
while scanning memories
chasing far away thoughts
of an old man
driving thru this highway
tonight
cross my home town

*photo of Dohuk from internet

'Pieces fallen from a puzzle' By Heja Sindi

Piece 39:

a stranger looking around

for you

without

knowing you

reaching out

your presence

through the shadows

names

and home odor

to safely walk him

through

Piece 41:

a set up encounter

backed with innocent foolishness

and

hungry selfishness

to share with you the loneliness

the fear

of new faces

and

troubled thoughts in

exile

Piece 86:

friends

advice

direction

rescue

from the evil intentions

while promises

to pass and to good a morning

keeps falling down

cruelly whispering :p

'there is no a tomorrow'

Piece 42:

trust

what happens in Disney land

stays in Dream Land!

handing over the keys

of a black stallion

that flyed you

to the wildest dreams

while this ever ride

made the stallion

a forever antique

Piece 10:

brilliant look

forgotten name

skeptic

unsure

maybe evil will remorse

giving out the keys

holding on to the sparks

of a Vegas Sunday night!

Piece 25:

mates again

sarcasm

advice

relief

from mountains

laying on a thin chest

yet pain is a disguised joy

for evil is sometimes

hiding in our chests

not in the mountains

Less than six and more than four

Moment one

Moving ahead with the head down

comes across the roots and gradually

finds the self facing a colorful destiny

Moment two 

Few seconds were borrowed from spring

that occupied me for hours 

playing back each letter, every sound

even though it was about others, a clown or a puppet!

Moment three

Interrupt then courtesy then lies

as if we needed some sudden magic

to take us on Sinbad's mat

away to continue

the journey of true missing

of blaming

and asking...

Were you?

Did you?

Have you?

Really?

Moment four and five became one age

Eyes like heart beats

drums in a scary movie

watched by two kids

catching up with a fading eye contact

before the dream ends

then…

A vacuum banged! 

nothing has left but

soundless faces

and lies kept on

smiles with no crescents  

while thoughts are wearing

googled eyes looking from

the back of heads

searching

reasoning

holding on  

to some hopes 

while whispering to the self 

the latter shouts 'WRONG!'

even to think of

the one truth

and that is

a 'want' to ask

Did you mean?

Were you? and

Are you still?

Always with you* By Heja Sindi

You earned your degree I am happy for you
A whole world in your eyes with great open doors
Let them know that you are the best let them see how you can fly
I know the feeling I have been there
Your toes feeling the steps your arms oaring the air
There you are in the coming years a flash at the end of a no end tunnel
Holding the hands of others talking about the stolen faith, the kidnapped promise
And how to find the hidden fact and how to fix the broken truth
And how to climb the shaking stairs to reach the sky to tip the moon
Put on your gown and proudly walk the line
Show them the pride in your shiny eyes
Make them hear the music of logic
Play them with mates an orchestra of wisdom
Farewell dear you know the road just follow the oath
A part of me will always be with you no matter how no matter where
Recall the best of what was said playback the themes in every test
No matter what storms you face out there a part of me will always be with you

* Dedicated to my graduated students