Welcome back: By Heja Sindi

Welcome back

to the kingdom of shadows...

to admirers and jealous

to the chairs and tables

where nobody could miss

wherever turns the face

welcome back

where eyes envy soles

and blesses turn to gossip

there's so much noise here

someone sneaking behind

waiting for the one chance

crippling on stairs of time

a dream shoots in one second

while you are talking to else

whispering from behind…

"hello"!

Welcome back

from kingdom of rights

from the 'words is trust'

old faces with same smiles

same places but different time

welcome back

from ages ahead  

and generations marching

beyond the orange sun

gently hugged by the clouds

bringing you back home

to the kingdom of shadows...

to admirers and jealous

Welcome back!

I don't care anymore

You think I forgot you

and have no more to write

well, deaf have tales of you and legends…

and eyes and gazes..

where breath stills tight

as no more cameras dare to shoot you

yet unsighted like me feel your presence

no stars hangout to wait for you

while moons get lost on shortest shores

no suns can find you to give up their frowns…

to borrow your  smile to wear it once more

I don't care anymore…

I have you with me closer than ever

what else do you think makes me happy?

than pile up all the 'missing' I've ever

and hand them over to you at once

in every trembling but thoughtful glance

I pass by this lonely Christmas tree

flower garlands and ribbons cut off 

as if it's you without your show off!

I don't care anymore

I have you forever

In Christmas...

In New Year, on trees and in songs

I see you in my books, in each drop of rain

I have you in all what's beauty and real

I have you wherever…I don't care anymore

In Another Life

When all who surround you freeze so I can drive your attention

When you come down one stair to make me climb ten stars for you

When you give up your pride for my honesty

When nobody preach you 'don't get closer' while nothing holds me from you,
in another life

When I am right in front of you even if you look at others

When I am right behind you and you still see me

When you become less skeptic and I become braver

When you trust me for granted so I dare to tell everything,
in another life

When 'illogical' now is simply your beautiful smile in another life

When we never misunderstand each other though ages away and never chat

When I am no more an icon to you and you are no more a 'Prohibited' sign

When I write less while you feel more,
in another life

When most is with you and less is with others

When time with you is 'always' and place is 'everywhere'

When you get older while I still see no one else

When I stop pretending while you stop ignoring, 
in another life

I amsterdam you: by Heja Sindi

Spin One

searching for myself
outside this tiny window
in that Dutch scene
where plates of cars
tell about their journeys
and rosy hopes showing me
the way 
to your once upon a time

Spin Two
lordly in looks
warm in welcoming 
thats what you are
I think my eyes caught you
on that bicycle
before you were pulled
out of this living city
to be turned into plastic
again where you don't belong

Spin Three

the captain spins 

and spins 

the wheel
right
then left
for a one inch move
like I do
to get closer 
a whole age
to the no where 

Spin Four
water in your canals
pumped 
by true wishes
of a beautiful minded man
who left behind
his soul
somewhere 
in these canals
here between 
the twin sisters' houses
or the empires' 

Spin One again
I amsterdam you
though my windmill
has already spanned  
way ahead
in another life

Facebook: By Heja Sindi

 friendship request
another try... a cyber disguise
crossing a broken bridge 
carefully
where manhood falls down
and both of us know 
 firewalls of a minded culture
 burns whatever...decent innocence 

friendship added!

secretly

please forgive me

I am not holding anyone
I am not close to anywhere
just a gipsy domain 
telling me lies  
where hands never touch
and eyes don't capture
yet minds are dragged into 
a sensible web

'Like'ing starts...cautious wait
time passes by
then comes the reply..
trrra rra!
Its a ':)' that opens
doors of captured hopes
 makes my day, keeps me high
and spiraled imaginations
smiling... 
behind a lousy screen

am talking to me
(whispering) should I... 
send at this late night 
an 'off line message' ? 
:/
DON'T!
yes DO it
no DON'T..
be a clown :S
pride is one click away 
from this keyboard 
 and crowded senses 
at a 2am monologue  

'Tag' and wait then wait again 
then 'Poke'
a forth move
 keeping me in touch
whenever a 'Comment'
chases another
though silly
and tasteless words
and vulgar souls  
 can't wait
to see my reply

'Deactivate'd
 'Facebook' or Closebook!
'Wall' is plain
heart in pain
no trace, no face
not even a.. 
'Check in place' 
silence on page
no move
no breath

Summer is over
back again
posting
'Private Message'ing 
no matter what 
or ':)' ing one another 

 while 'Share'ing a passion  

and joyfull :Ds 
hosting our chats with 

buried feelings 

forever

 in Facebook pages 

  

Do you mind?

If I know you well

without even living with you

and not even quarreling with you

or being able to make you smile

if I tell you that your gift

is a mask, that keeps many

from being able to touch..

your heart and

move

your sole

do you mind

if I become so plain

and tell you that..

you have no time for me,

I know..

that ..

you are not even busy

with your own dreams..

yes I know

and do you?

if I speak on behalf of..

your eyes

and tell others

to keep their misleading..

dreams..

away from  you

and If I say to the whole world

that your absence

is what provokes, me

thinking more of you

more than if I see you

well, I guess you don’t

if I shout at him and her

to leave you

to set you free

from all the lies that

they have lived, yet

want you to share

with them

No, I guess you won't mind anyway

لقاء الوداع

                                                    

                           وأبتلعتكٓ التلال ثانية

فغابت عينايّ لحظة

كلماتك تهرع وراءك

تجري

في فمي..تداعبني برأفة

نظراتك شوق..لهيب

دموع

تودعني بلهفة

و عطرك صمت..حفيف يوقضني

في اللحظة

يا من ملئت فيٌ ابوتك

والكلمة

والرفقة

إيه ياقدر!

إيه يا أجل!

أأنت الوفاء..أأنت البصر؟

أعدت تواسي ام عدت لتهزل؟

رحل الأحباب

رحل ألأصحاب

فكنتَ أنتَ..و كنتَ ياقدر

إيه يا تلال

أيتها المومياء

لازلتِ كما أنتِ

و لا زلتُ كما أنا

بلا بهاء..بلا دهاء

عهدي بكِ حصناً..نشيداً

يحفظ الأباء

فأعلي جبالاً مخضرةً

  أو غادري تاركةً لناظري

سراباً من إباء

أنا هنا

أهلي هناك

و انت يا تلال

مازلتما أنت و القدر..تتعانقان

تتهامسان

بلا حياء..بلا وفاء

د.هيَذا سندى

كتبت في ربيع ١٩٩٩ أثناء توديع والدي في منطقة فايدة "الحدود أَنذاك بين دهوك والموصل" بعد زيارته لي سرآ للأطمئنان علي. الوالد كان تحت الإقامة الجبرية في بغداد أثر سجنه من قبل النظام العراقي السابق ولم يكن بمقدوره الهرب تماماً قبل التأكد من سلامة وصول والدتي الى كوردستان لاحقاً.

منشورة في مجلة متين 1999 عدد 92