Sunday, 25 December 2011

I don't care anymore



You think I forgot you
and have no more to write
well, deaf have tales of you and legends…
and eyes and gazes..
where breath stills tight

as no more cameras dare to shoot you
yet unsighted like me feel your presence
no stars hangout to wait for you
while moons get lost on shortest shores
no suns can find you to give up their frowns…
to borrow your  smile to wear it once more

I don't care anymore…
I have you with me closer than ever
what else do you think makes me happy?
than pile up all the 'missing' I've ever
and hand them over to you at once
in every trembling but thoughtful glance

I pass by this lonely Christmas tree
flower garlands and ribbons cut off 
as if it's you without your show off!
I don't care anymore
I have you forever
In Christmas...
In New Year, on trees and in songs
I see you in my books, in each drop of rain
I have you in all what's beauty and real
I have you wherever…I don't care anymore

Friday, 18 November 2011

In Another Life



When all who surround you freeze so I can drive your attention
When you come down one stair to make me climb ten stars for you
When you give up your pride for my honesty
When nobody preach you 'don't get closer' while nothing holds me from you,
in another life


When I am right in front of you even if you look at others
When I am right behind you and you still see me
When you become less skeptic and I become braver
When you trust me for granted so I dare to tell everything,
in another life


When 'illogical' now is simply your beautiful smile in another life
When we never misunderstand each other though ages away and never chat
When I am no more an icon to you and you are no more a 'Prohibited' sign
When I write less while you feel more,
in another life


When most is with you and less is with others
When time with you is 'always' and place is 'everywhere'
When you get older while I still see no one else
When I stop pretending while you stop ignoring
in another life


Thursday, 20 October 2011

I amsterdam you: by Heja Sindi



Spin One
searching for myself
outside this tiny window
in that Dutch scene
where plates of cars
tell about their journeys
and rosy hopes showing me
the way 
to your once upon a time


Spin Two
lordly in looks
warm in welcoming 
thats what you are
I think my eyes caught you
on that bicycle
before you were pulled
out of this living city
to be turned into plastic
again where you don't belong


Spin Three
the captain spins 
and spins 
the wheel
right
then left
for a one inch move
like I do
to get closer 
a whole age
to the no where 


Spin Four
water in your canals
pumped 
by true wishes
of a beautiful minded man
who left behind
his soul
somewhere 
in these canals
here between 
the twin sisters' houses
or the empires' 



Spin One again
I amsterdam you
though my windmill
has already spanned  
way ahead
in another life

























Thursday, 15 September 2011

Facebook: By Heja Sindi



 friendship request
another try... a cyber disguise
crossing a broken bridge 
carefully
where manhood falls down
and both of us know 
 firewalls of a minded culture
 burns whatever...
decent innocence 
friendship added!
secretly
please forgive me
I am not holding anyone
I am not close to anywhere
just a gipsy domain 
telling me lies  
where hands never touch
and eyes don't capture
yet minds are dragged into 
a sensible web

'Like'ing starts...cautious wait
time passes by
then comes the reply..
trrra rra!
Its a ':)' that opens
doors of captured hopes
 makes my day,
 keeps me high
and spiraled imaginations
smiling... 
behind a lousy screen

am talking to me
(whispering) should I... 
send at this late night 
an 'off line message' ? 
:/
DON'T!
yes DO it
no DON'T..
be a clown :S
pride is one click away 

from this keyboard 
 and crowded senses 
at a 2am monologue 
 

'Tag' and wait then wait again 
then 'Poke'
a forth move
 keeping me in touch
whenever a 'Comment'
chases another
though silly
and tasteless words
and vulgar souls  
 can't wait
to see my reply
'Deactivate'd
 'Facebook' or Closebook!
'Wall' is plain
heart in pain
no trace, 
no face
not even a.. 
'Check in place' 
silence on page
no move
no breath

Summer is over
back again
posting

'Private Message'ing 
no matter what
 

or ':)' ing one another 
 while 'Share'ing a passion  
and joyfull :Ds 
hosting our chats with 
buried feelings 
forever
 in Facebook pages 

  



Sunday, 7 August 2011

Do you mind?



If I know you well
without even living with you
and not even quarreling with you
or being able to make you smile

if I tell you that your gift
is a mask, that keeps many
from being able to touch..
your heart and
move
your sole

do you mind
if I become so plain
and tell you that..
you have no time for me,
I know..
that ..
you are not even busy
with your own dreams..
yes I know

and do you?
if I speak on behalf of..
your eyes
and tell others
to keep their misleading..
dreams..
away from  you
and If I say to the whole world
that your absence
is what provokes, me
thinking more of you
more than if I see you

well, I guess you don’t
if I shout at him and her
to leave you
to set you free
from all the lies that
they have lived, yet
want you to share
with them

No, I guess you won't mind anyway



Thursday, 28 July 2011

لقاء الوداع

                                                    

                           وأبتلعتكٓ التلال ثانية
فغابت عينايّ لحظة
كلماتك تهرع وراءك
تجري
في فمي..تداعبني برأفة
نظراتك شوق..لهيب
دموع
تودعني بلهفة
و عطرك صمت..حفيف يوقضني
في اللحظة
يا من ملئت فيٌ ابوتك
والكلمة
والرفقة


إيه ياقدر!
إيه يا أجل!
أأنت الوفاء..أأنت البصر؟
أعدت تواسي ام عدت لتهزل؟
رحل الأحباب
رحل ألأصحاب
فكنتَ أنتَ..و كنتَ ياقدر


إيه يا تلال
أيتها المومياء
لازلتِ كما أنتِ
و لا زلتُ كما أنا
بلا بهاء..بلا دهاء
عهدي بكِ حصناً..نشيداً
يحفظ الأباء
فأعلي جبالاً مخضرةً
  أو غادري تاركةً لناظري
سراباً من إباء


أنا هنا
أهلي هناك
و انت يا تلال
مازلتما أنت و القدر..تتعانقان
تتهامسان
بلا حياء..بلا وفاء
د.هيَذا سندى
كتبت في ربيع ١٩٩٩ أثناء توديع والدي في منطقة فايدة "الحدود أَنذاك بين دهوك والموصل" بعد زيارته لي سرآ للأطمئنان علي. الوالد كان تحت الإقامة الجبرية في بغداد أثر سجنه من قبل النظام العراقي السابق ولم يكن بمقدوره الهرب تماماً قبل التأكد من سلامة وصول والدتي الى كوردستان لاحقاً.
منشورة في مجلة متين 1999 عدد 92 

Sunday, 24 July 2011

Dohuk Tonight




an old man passes
in a fancy drive
by this hidden city
where hearts get ceased by jealous rips
and magical carpets full of tiny lights..
hiding lonely stories and innocent gossip
black gardens hanged by pearls
and stars..
hallowed by shying hopes
that's you tonight
my home town

same old plot, new passion
two masculine mountains...
staring at each other; who frees the captured soul
resting in between!
who lives there...
who smiles here..
who wonders if some one is thinking of you..
or doubts that someone cherishes another...
in my home town

Like every week at this time..
winds from the crowded capital
blow, push me, like a sail
then steadly cradled
by welcomig breezes
in early galleys of my town
gently pulling the drive
while scanning memories
chasing far away thoughts
of an old man
driving thru this highway
tonight
cross my home town

*photo of Dohuk from internet

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

بێ دەنگی

دەمێ بێ دەنگ دبی
‌سیتاڤ بێ خودانن
‌بهێن بێ گولاڤن.، درەون
‌تەیر هاردبن و بوخو دخوینن
‌سەرما دبیتە هڕچەکا هار و
هزرێن من ‌
 بێ دەنگیا لدور من
 من دادعیرن
‌من بەرزەدکن

‌دەمێ تو بێ دەنگ دبی
‌بهار خو ژ زڤستانا ڤەناقەتینن
‌سەیرانی دلنگن
‌کەسکاتی خو ژ شیناتیێ بەردت
‌ژبەر بارانه کا شەرمین
ڕەنگێن خو بەردن
‌دەمێ بێ دەنگ دبی

هێژا سندی
10/3/2011

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

'Pieces fallen from a puzzle' By Heja Sindi


Piece 39:
a stranger looking around
for you
without
knowing you
reaching out
your presence
through the shadows
names
and home odor
to safely walk him
through

Piece 41:
a set up encounter
backed with innocent foolishness
and
hungry selfishness
to share with you the loneliness
the fear
of new faces
and
troubled thoughts in
exile

Piece 86:
friends
advice
direction
rescue
from the evil intentions
while promises
to pass and to good a morning
keeps falling down
cruelly whispering :p
'there is no a tomorrow'

Piece 42:
trust
what happens in Disney land
stays in Dream Land!
handing over the keys
of a black stallion
that flyed you
to the wildest dreams
while this ever ride
made the stallion
a forever antique

Piece 10:
brilliant look
forgotten name
skeptic
unsure
maybe evil will remorse
giving out the keys
holding on to the sparks
of a Vegas Sunday night!

Piece 25:
mates again
sarcasm
advice
relief
from mountains
laying on a thin chest
yet pain is a disguised joy
for evil is sometimes
hiding in our chests
not in the mountains

Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Less than six and more than four


Moment one

Moving ahead with the head down
comes across the roots and gradually
finds the self facing a colorful destiny

Moment two 

Few seconds were borrowed from spring
that occupied me for hours 
playing back each letter, every sound
even though it was about others, a clown or a puppet!

Moment three

Interrupt then courtesy then lies
as if we needed some sudden magic
to take us on Sinbad's mat
away to continue
the journey of true missing
of blaming
and asking...
Were you?
Did you?
Have you?
Really?

Moment four and five became one age

Eyes like heart beats
drums in a scary movie
watched by two kids
catching up with a fading eye contact
before the dream ends
then…
A vacuum banged! 
nothing has left but
soundless faces
and lies kept on
smiles with no crescents  
while thoughts are wearing
googled eyes looking from
the back of heads
searching
reasoning
holding on  
to some hopes 
while whispering to the self 
the latter shouts 'WRONG!'
even to think of
the one truth
and that is
a 'want' to ask
Did you mean?
Were you? and
Are you still?


Monday, 20 June 2011

Always with you* By Heja Sindi

You earned your degree I am happy for you
A whole world in your eyes with great open doors
Let them know that you are the best let them see how you can fly
I know the feeling I have been there
Your toes feeling the steps your arms oaring the air
There you are in the coming years a flash at the end of a no end tunnel
Holding the hands of others talking about the stolen faith, the kidnapped promise
And how to find the hidden fact and how to fix the broken truth
And how to climb the shaking stairs to reach the sky to tip the moon
Put on your gown and proudly walk the line
Show them the pride in your shiny eyes
Make them hear the music of logic
Play them with mates an orchestra of wisdom
Farewell dear you know the road just follow the oath
A part of me will always be with you no matter how no matter where
Recall the best of what was said playback the themes in every test
No matter what storms you face out there a part of me will always be with you

* Dedicated to my graduated students

Sunday, 12 June 2011

You're the one!

They see you the only, I see you the One

How can I prove it, if only blind?

I sight you out of dozens

and brand you deep in mind

Hey, see your soul in my eyes?

See what you worth in my trembling thoughts?

Not the beauty in others’ mirrors

Not others desire that gets only thinner!

They whispered in your ears ‘He is Crazy”

It’s you I believe who know I am even more

How long does it take to make you believe?

I am here I am there I’ve nowhere to leave

Wait Wait! This is no bluffing!

Please take your shoot please come back soon

I’ll stop my watch and wait for you

I am here I am there, just trace the moon

I chase your smell on empty stairs

I say I miss you, I say I do

There is so much to tell so much to Hey!

They’ll whisperer to you ‘He’s Crazy’, don’t do!

If this is my sin then let it be

I have no shame so please don’t blame

I follow others who did the same

I sin I cry and wonder your name

My dear,

Tell my story cross the oceans

Tell them he is cursed cross the sky

Tell them he is insane I can tell why

But tell them I know he doesn’t lie

I’ll keep writing for you wherever you go

It’s not that I knew you and let’s forget it

You’re so the “One” that I always follow

I promise to write you however you show



 Heja

17. May.2011