I don't care anymore

You think I forgot you

and have no more to write

well, deaf have tales of you and legends…

and eyes and gazes..

where breath stills tight

as no more cameras dare to shoot you

yet unsighted like me feel your presence

no stars hangout to wait for you

while moons get lost on shortest shores

no suns can find you to give up their frowns…

to borrow your  smile to wear it once more

I don't care anymore…

I have you with me closer than ever

what else do you think makes me happy?

than pile up all the 'missing' I've ever

and hand them over to you at once

in every trembling but thoughtful glance

I pass by this lonely Christmas tree

flower garlands and ribbons cut off 

as if it's you without your show off!

I don't care anymore

I have you forever

In Christmas...

In New Year, on trees and in songs

I see you in my books, in each drop of rain

I have you in all what's beauty and real

I have you wherever…I don't care anymore

In Another Life

When all who surround you freeze so I can drive your attention

When you come down one stair to make me climb ten stars for you

When you give up your pride for my honesty

When nobody preach you 'don't get closer' while nothing holds me from you,
in another life

When I am right in front of you even if you look at others

When I am right behind you and you still see me

When you become less skeptic and I become braver

When you trust me for granted so I dare to tell everything,
in another life

When 'illogical' now is simply your beautiful smile in another life

When we never misunderstand each other though ages away and never chat

When I am no more an icon to you and you are no more a 'Prohibited' sign

When I write less while you feel more,
in another life

When most is with you and less is with others

When time with you is 'always' and place is 'everywhere'

When you get older while I still see no one else

When I stop pretending while you stop ignoring, 
in another life

I amsterdam you: by Heja Sindi

Spin One

searching for myself
outside this tiny window
in that Dutch scene
where plates of cars
tell about their journeys
and rosy hopes showing me
the way 
to your once upon a time

Spin Two
lordly in looks
warm in welcoming 
thats what you are
I think my eyes caught you
on that bicycle
before you were pulled
out of this living city
to be turned into plastic
again where you don't belong

Spin Three

the captain spins 

and spins 

the wheel
right
then left
for a one inch move
like I do
to get closer 
a whole age
to the no where 

Spin Four
water in your canals
pumped 
by true wishes
of a beautiful minded man
who left behind
his soul
somewhere 
in these canals
here between 
the twin sisters' houses
or the empires' 

Spin One again
I amsterdam you
though my windmill
has already spanned  
way ahead
in another life

Facebook: By Heja Sindi

 friendship request
another try... a cyber disguise
crossing a broken bridge 
carefully
where manhood falls down
and both of us know 
 firewalls of a minded culture
 burns whatever...decent innocence 

friendship added!

secretly

please forgive me

I am not holding anyone
I am not close to anywhere
just a gipsy domain 
telling me lies  
where hands never touch
and eyes don't capture
yet minds are dragged into 
a sensible web

'Like'ing starts...cautious wait
time passes by
then comes the reply..
trrra rra!
Its a ':)' that opens
doors of captured hopes
 makes my day, keeps me high
and spiraled imaginations
smiling... 
behind a lousy screen

am talking to me
(whispering) should I... 
send at this late night 
an 'off line message' ? 
:/
DON'T!
yes DO it
no DON'T..
be a clown :S
pride is one click away 
from this keyboard 
 and crowded senses 
at a 2am monologue  

'Tag' and wait then wait again 
then 'Poke'
a forth move
 keeping me in touch
whenever a 'Comment'
chases another
though silly
and tasteless words
and vulgar souls  
 can't wait
to see my reply

'Deactivate'd
 'Facebook' or Closebook!
'Wall' is plain
heart in pain
no trace, no face
not even a.. 
'Check in place' 
silence on page
no move
no breath

Summer is over
back again
posting
'Private Message'ing 
no matter what 
or ':)' ing one another 

 while 'Share'ing a passion  

and joyfull :Ds 
hosting our chats with 

buried feelings 

forever

 in Facebook pages 

  

Do you mind?

If I know you well

without even living with you

and not even quarreling with you

or being able to make you smile

if I tell you that your gift

is a mask, that keeps many

from being able to touch..

your heart and

move

your sole

do you mind

if I become so plain

and tell you that..

you have no time for me,

I know..

that ..

you are not even busy

with your own dreams..

yes I know

and do you?

if I speak on behalf of..

your eyes

and tell others

to keep their misleading..

dreams..

away from  you

and If I say to the whole world

that your absence

is what provokes, me

thinking more of you

more than if I see you

well, I guess you don’t

if I shout at him and her

to leave you

to set you free

from all the lies that

they have lived, yet

want you to share

with them

No, I guess you won't mind anyway

لقاء الوداع

                                                    

                           وأبتلعتكٓ التلال ثانية

فغابت عينايّ لحظة

كلماتك تهرع وراءك

تجري

في فمي..تداعبني برأفة

نظراتك شوق..لهيب

دموع

تودعني بلهفة

و عطرك صمت..حفيف يوقضني

في اللحظة

يا من ملئت فيٌ ابوتك

والكلمة

والرفقة

إيه ياقدر!

إيه يا أجل!

أأنت الوفاء..أأنت البصر؟

أعدت تواسي ام عدت لتهزل؟

رحل الأحباب

رحل ألأصحاب

فكنتَ أنتَ..و كنتَ ياقدر

إيه يا تلال

أيتها المومياء

لازلتِ كما أنتِ

و لا زلتُ كما أنا

بلا بهاء..بلا دهاء

عهدي بكِ حصناً..نشيداً

يحفظ الأباء

فأعلي جبالاً مخضرةً

  أو غادري تاركةً لناظري

سراباً من إباء

أنا هنا

أهلي هناك

و انت يا تلال

مازلتما أنت و القدر..تتعانقان

تتهامسان

بلا حياء..بلا وفاء

د.هيَذا سندى

كتبت في ربيع ١٩٩٩ أثناء توديع والدي في منطقة فايدة "الحدود أَنذاك بين دهوك والموصل" بعد زيارته لي سرآ للأطمئنان علي. الوالد كان تحت الإقامة الجبرية في بغداد أثر سجنه من قبل النظام العراقي السابق ولم يكن بمقدوره الهرب تماماً قبل التأكد من سلامة وصول والدتي الى كوردستان لاحقاً.

منشورة في مجلة متين 1999 عدد 92 

Dohuk Tonight

an old man passes
in a fancy drive
by this hidden city
where hearts get ceased by jealous rips
and magical carpets full of tiny lights..
hiding lonely stories and innocent gossip
black gardens hanged by pearls
and stars..
hallowed by shying hopes
that's you tonight
my home town

same old plot, new passion
two masculine mountains...
staring at each other; who frees the captured soul
resting in between!
who lives there...
who smiles here..
who wonders if some one is thinking of you..
or doubts that someone cherishes another...
in my home town

Like every week at this time..
winds from the crowded capital
blow, push me, like a sail
then steadly cradled
by welcomig breezes
in early galleys of my town
gently pulling the drive
while scanning memories
chasing far away thoughts
of an old man
driving thru this highway
tonight
cross my home town

*photo of Dohuk from internet

بێ دەنگی

دەمێ بێ دەنگ دبی
‌سیتاڤ بێ خودانن
‌بهێن بێ گولاڤن.، درەون
‌تەیر هاردبن و بوخو دخوینن
‌سەرما دبیتە هڕچەکا هار و
هزرێن من ‌
 بێ دەنگیا لدور من
 من دادعیرن
‌من بەرزەدکن

‌دەمێ تو بێ دەنگ دبی
‌بهار خو ژ زڤستانا ڤەناقەتینن
‌سەیرانی دلنگن
‌کەسکاتی خو ژ شیناتیێ بەردت
‌ژبەر بارانه کا شەرمین
ڕەنگێن خو بەردن
‌دەمێ بێ دەنگ دبی

هێژا سندی
10/3/2011

'Pieces fallen from a puzzle' By Heja Sindi

Piece 39:

a stranger looking around

for you

without

knowing you

reaching out

your presence

through the shadows

names

and home odor

to safely walk him

through

Piece 41:

a set up encounter

backed with innocent foolishness

and

hungry selfishness

to share with you the loneliness

the fear

of new faces

and

troubled thoughts in

exile

Piece 86:

friends

advice

direction

rescue

from the evil intentions

while promises

to pass and to good a morning

keeps falling down

cruelly whispering :p

'there is no a tomorrow'

Piece 42:

trust

what happens in Disney land

stays in Dream Land!

handing over the keys

of a black stallion

that flyed you

to the wildest dreams

while this ever ride

made the stallion

a forever antique

Piece 10:

brilliant look

forgotten name

skeptic

unsure

maybe evil will remorse

giving out the keys

holding on to the sparks

of a Vegas Sunday night!

Piece 25:

mates again

sarcasm

advice

relief

from mountains

laying on a thin chest

yet pain is a disguised joy

for evil is sometimes

hiding in our chests

not in the mountains

vision is a free spaceship to dreams. Heja: 'Less than six and more than four' By Heja Sindi

Less than six and more than four

Less than six and more than four

Moment one

Moving ahead with the head down

comes across the roots and gradually

finds the self facing a colorful destiny

Moment two 

Few seconds were borrowed from spring

that occupied me for hours 

playing back each letter, every sound

even though it was about others, a clown or a puppet!

Moment three

Interrupt then courtesy then lies

as if we needed some sudden magic

to take us on Sinbad's mat

away to continue

the journey of true missing

of blaming

and asking...

Were you?

Did you?

Have you?

Really?

Moment four and five became one age

Eyes like heart beats

drums in a scary movie

watched by two kids

catching up with a fading eye contact

before the dream ends

then…

A vacuum banged! 

nothing has left but

soundless faces

and lies kept on

smiles with no crescents  

while thoughts are wearing

googled eyes looking from

the back of heads

searching

reasoning

holding on  

to some hopes 

while whispering to the self 

the latter shouts 'WRONG!'

even to think of

the one truth

and that is

a 'want' to ask

Did you mean?

Were you? and

Are you still?

Always with you* By Heja Sindi

You earned your degree I am happy for you
A whole world in your eyes with great open doors
Let them know that you are the best let them see how you can fly
I know the feeling I have been there
Your toes feeling the steps your arms oaring the air
There you are in the coming years a flash at the end of a no end tunnel
Holding the hands of others talking about the stolen faith, the kidnapped promise
And how to find the hidden fact and how to fix the broken truth
And how to climb the shaking stairs to reach the sky to tip the moon
Put on your gown and proudly walk the line
Show them the pride in your shiny eyes
Make them hear the music of logic
Play them with mates an orchestra of wisdom
Farewell dear you know the road just follow the oath
A part of me will always be with you no matter how no matter where
Recall the best of what was said playback the themes in every test
No matter what storms you face out there a part of me will always be with you

* Dedicated to my graduated students

You're the one!

They see you the only, I see you the One

How can I prove it, if only blind?

I sight you out of dozens

and brand you deep in mind

Hey, see your soul in my eyes?

See what you worth in my trembling thoughts?

Not the beauty in others’ mirrors

Not others desire that gets only thinner!

They whispered in your ears ‘He is Crazy”

It’s you I believe who know I am even more

How long does it take to make you believe?

I am here I am there I’ve nowhere to leave

Wait Wait! This is no bluffing!

Please take your shoot please come back soon

I’ll stop my watch and wait for you

I am here I am there, just trace the moon

I chase your smell on empty stairs

I say I miss you, I say I do

There is so much to tell so much to Hey!

They’ll whisperer to you ‘He’s Crazy’, don’t do!

If this is my sin then let it be

I have no shame so please don’t blame

I follow others who did the same

I sin I cry and wonder your name

My dear,

Tell my story cross the oceans

Tell them he is cursed cross the sky

Tell them he is insane I can tell why

But tell them I know he doesn’t lie

I’ll keep writing for you wherever you go

It’s not that I knew you and let’s forget it

You’re so the “One” that I always follow

I promise to write you however you show

 Heja

17. May.2011